Just a few days ago, I was on Facebook and saw a link that my friend Joseph Farrell had posted to a blog entry he’d written called “Combing Out the Tangles”. We first met at a beard competition hosted by the Cincinnati Beard Barons last year and then crossed paths again when he competed at my first beard competition, Battle for the Belt 2015. Joe won his individual category and also walked away with the title belt for winning Best in Show with a perfect score – he was the only competitor to earn a perfect score on the night (you can see a pic of his awesome beard below).
I was impressed with Joe’s blog entry and asked him if he would be willing to continue his series here on TitleBeard. I was very pleased that he agreed to author a monthly article here on the site, and he also agreed to allow me to repost the full text of his most recent entry as well. You can find the original posting here.
I hope you enjoy the new series.
-Brian aka TitleBeard
Photo by Joseph Farrell
There have been times in life when I have just wanted things to be different. Like wishing I looked a little more like Brad Pitt, wanting my beard to get really long faster, or wishing I was a little more coordinated. Or the usual things, like wanting to be in better shape, wanting to have to worry about finances less, wanting to travel more.
Sometimes, these are things I can actually change, and sometimes they aren’t. It has been really important for me to learn the difference. You see, it is really easy for me to spend a lot of time thinking about changes and wishing for things to be different, but it is an awful lot harder to take action and actually make things different. Since it is harder to take action, it seems kind of silly for me to waste my energy on anything that I can’t change. So, I had to start getting better at identifying things that I couldn’t change, and reaching a place of acceptance with those things.
My beard growing has been a little exercise in acceptance. I have made the decision to grow my beard to terminal length without trimming it. What is terminal length? It’s the place where your beard stops getting longer. So, I’m going to grow it as long as I can (barring any accidents with hedge trimmers or campfires) without trimming it. It is an exercise to find what my “full beard natural” looks like and accept it for what it is.
Here is the honest truth about what I believe I cannot change about my beard:
- Where my hair grows: There is nothing that I can change that will magically make hair sprout from a location that it otherwise wouldn’t grow. On that front, I’m at the mercy of my genetic heritage and my hormones. There is also nothing that I can do to make hair disappear from any location that it seems to want to grow. Sure, I can shave, but in 5 minutes there will be hair there again. I’m just a plain hairy guy. Having a big beard is a way to embrace that and have fun with it.
- The kind of hair I grow: I don’t have one kind of hair. Some are thin, some are thick, some are straight, wavy, curly, or…something more than curly…gnarly. This is what it is. I have learned to accept and embrace that my hair is this way, and make the most of it.
- The color of my hair: Some dudes have awesome red beards. Some dudes have awesome brown beards. Some dudes have awesome black beards. Some dudes have awesome blond beards. Some dudes have awesome white beards. For right now, my beard has a little of each, though it seems to be heading more and more to the white side of the force. Having all of those awesome colors in my beard just makes it look brown, though. But, again, unless I go doing something unnatural, I can’t change this.
So, for each of these things, I have had to just learn to accept them. Don’t mistake any of these for complaints (well, maybe a little about the color thing, but I’m not perfect). These are all just the facts about my beard, and I have learned to accept them and be happy about them.They are what makes my beard unique. My very own, “full beard natural.” I can take these little bits of self acceptance that I’ve cobbled together and start using those as a foundation for accepting, embracing and then celebrating my own uniqueness. Stop myself from fighting to fit in and use that energy to fight for things that I actually want to change.
Once I have identified what I can’t change, it seems to be a little easier for me to look for things that I can change. I have found a few things that I can do to make my beard (and my life) better overall. Beyond having a good beard care routine, like I talked about in my last entry, here are three major things I can do to improve my beard:
- Nutrition: The quality of the building blocks that I provide to my body will have an impact on the quality of my body and my beard.
- Reduce Stress: Stress has a lot of negative effects on the body and mind. It robs me of energy to do other things, like go for big hikes and grow a good beard.
- Increase Happiness: On the flip side of stress, improving my overall happiness in life will create an environment in which a good beard can grow and thrive.
Over the next three three blog entries, I’m going to go into detail about some of the things I have been learning to help me improve in those three areas.While I can’t look like Brad Pitt, I can look like me, but in better shape. And my beard will get longer, but I’m going to have to be patient and enjoy the journey. I can get out there and see some new places by traveling with friends to some of those amazing beard competitions out there!
I hope that information will help others who want to maximize their bearding, or just their enjoyment of life in general.
Joseph Farrell. Photo by Duering Photography
Joe Farrell is a proud member of Steel City Beard and Mustache Club, and currently serves as their Philanthropy Chair. As co-founder of Evolve Coaching, Joe works with individuals seeking to improve in the areas of social skills, employment and academic success. Joe has been practicing the care and feeding of facial hair for as long as anyone can remember. Does he have a chin? The world may never know.
The post Combing Out the Tangles: Change what you can. Accept what you can’t. appeared first on Title Beard.
